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● Healthy Relationship Resources

Healthy Relationships

Start with healthy relationship indicators: attachment, trust, respect, support, accountability, fairness, partnership, and communication. Warning signs and safety resources remain available below.

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Primary: Healthy Relationship Indicators

1

Healthy Attachment

Setting and respecting healthy boundaries, being responsive to each other's needs, and building trust over time.

2

Trust & Respect

Respecting each other's feelings, friends, activities, and opinions while listening without judgment.

3

Support

Supporting one another's goals, education, career, family, friendships, hobbies, and activities.

4

Honesty & Accountability

Accepting responsibility, making amends, and having open, honest, non-violent communication.

5

Negotiation & Fairness

Seeking mutually satisfying conflict resolution, accepting change, and being willing to compromise.

6

Partnership & Communication

Valuing open communication, privacy, equality, shared decisions, and fair distribution of resources.

Emotional Recovery

1

An observer, not a reactor

Pausing before responding and noticing emotions without letting them control the moment.

2

Maintains boundaries

Protecting time, privacy, values, and emotional space without over-explaining.

3

Able to say “no” without guilt

Recognizing that a respectful no is healthy, honest, and sometimes necessary.

4

Disengages from codependent behavior

Not taking responsibility for regulating, fixing, or carrying another person's emotions.

5

Releases emotional responsibilities of others

Letting people own their choices, feelings, consequences, and repair work.

6

Recognizes triggers as teachers

Using triggers as information about wounds, needs, boundaries, and healing work.

7

Connects daily with inner child

Making room for comfort, play, validation, safety, grief, and self-compassion.

Energy Takers vs. Energy Givers

Energy Takers

  • Focusing on the past
  • Inconsistent sleep
  • Mess and clutter
  • Sedentary time
  • Social media
  • Overworking
  • Dehydration
  • Screen time
  • Resentment
  • Negativity
  • Junk food
  • The news
  • Alcohol
  • Stress
  • Fear

Energy Givers

  • Movement walking, stretching, exercise
  • Consistent sleep
  • Rest and recovery
  • Sunlight
  • Positive connection
  • Gratitude
  • Hydration
  • Meditation or prayer
  • Moving your body
  • Breathing exercises
  • Community
  • Decluttering
  • Consistent routines
  • Eating well
  • Learning something new

Daily Recovery Practices

PauseObserve before reactingTake one breath, name the feeling, and choose a response instead of an automatic reaction.Practice card
BoundariesProtect your yesSay no clearly, kindly, and briefly. A boundary does not need a long defense.Practice card
TriggersAsk what it is teachingTriggers can point to a need for safety, grief, rest, repair, or clearer limits.Practice card
CareHydrate and restPhysical care supports emotional regulation, focus, and better decision-making.Practice card
ReleaseGive back what is not yoursOther people's feelings, choices, and repair work are not yours to carry.Practice card
Inner ChildOffer daily validationCheck in with the younger part of you that needs safety, comfort, voice, or play.Practice card

Abusive Behaviors

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. These descriptions are informational. They are not a substitute for the support of a trained advocate or clinician.
Emotional AbuseInvalidating, guilt, jealousyTeasing, blaming the victim, stalking, withholding affection, and silent treatment.Warning sign card
Financial AbuseControl of moneyLimiting access to money, controlling spending, creating debt, fraud, and closing accounts.Warning sign card
Psychological AbuseFear, threats, gaslightingIntimidating looks, threats of harm, denying abuse, displaying weapons, and gaslighting.Warning sign card
Verbal AbuseName calling and humiliationSwearing, yelling, insults, condescending behavior, sarcasm, belittling, and public humiliation.Warning sign card
Spiritual AbuseUsing faith to controlBelittling faith, isolation from church/community, or using faith to gain advantage.Warning sign card
Social AbuseIsolation and monitoringPreventing work, monitoring phones or mileage, dictating friendships, and social media stalking.Warning sign card

Power & Control Wheel

powercontrolCOERCINGINTIMIDATINGISOLATINGDENYINGUSING CHILDRENECONOMIC
Coercing & threateningThreats to harm, report, leave, or use other threats to control behavior.
IntimidatingCausing fear through looks, gestures, actions, property destruction, or weapons.
Emotional abusePut-downs, name-calling, mind games, gaslighting, humiliation, and guilt.
IsolationControlling contact with other people, limiting outside activities, and using jealousy.
Denying, blaming & minimizingMaking light of abuse, shifting responsibility, and blaming the victim.

Identifying Anger & Controlling It

Learn to recognize triggers, understand reactions, and develop healthier responses before situations escalate.

Understanding the CBT Cycle

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy cycle: Situation → Thoughts → Emotions → Behavior → Physical Reactions — all interconnected.

Recommended Resources

SAMHSA Anger Management Workbook

Free, evidence-based workbook using CBT techniques.

  • Recognizing triggers
  • Identifying warning signs
  • Understanding thought patterns
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Coping skills and self-awareness
Open Workbook

Individual CBT Therapy

CBT has strong evidence supporting:

  • Anger control
  • Emotional regulation
  • Cognitive flexibility
  • Improved communication
  • Stress management

Techniques That Work Well

Taking a structured time-out before arguments escalate.
Identifying physical warning signs such as a tight chest, clenched jaw, racing thoughts, or increased heart rate.
Challenging thoughts such as “I’m being disrespected” before reacting.
Learning assertive communication instead of aggressive communication.
Practicing breathing and grounding exercises daily, not just during conflict.

Immediate Anger Control Technique

When you notice anger rising:

1
Stop talking.
2
Leave the room for 20–30 minutes.
3
Do not text, call, or continue the argument.
4
Walk, breathe slowly, stretch, or exercise.
5
Return only when your heart rate and thoughts have settled.
Why it works: This is one of the most commonly recommended de-escalation strategies used in anger-management programs because it interrupts the emotional escalation cycle before it becomes destructive.
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